Unraveling Reality

The encounter with the divine, place of a thousand and one joys
This is how this evening I dive back into the forgotten essence.

I can keep bringing up problems in my mind for entire weeks, use all my cognitive powers to anticipate the scenarios that the elements at my disposal allow me to foresee, and press my intention like never before, make use of my imaginative capacities in order to summon a fictitious future in order to try out the multiple possible reactions to a given situation,
I can strain my whole body and mind to solve a problem and not succeed, feeling that…
Even if I dedicated 10 years of my life to it, no solution would emerge from these condensed efforts.
I compact the tensions to the point of giving rise to excruciating pain, to the point of isolating myself from all distraction and creating a void around me, then…
I rely on God, on the everlasting substratum of my being.
In a saving abandonment I confide to Him, and find the powerful faith rendered mute by all these efforts, by my silence and my unexpected smile,
I let this larger-than-my-heart work to unravel reality. (1 John 3:30)

©FJ April 2024
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