Still digging out old posts….from earlier sitting sessions, back in 2016.
I recently bumped into someone I had never met before.
Someone I know more than myself.
Someone I thought did not exist.
Someone I just could not see.
A person so hard to miss,
I could mistake him for myself,
Had I not looked closely,
Closely, nearer, nearer,
There is no wall, no opacity
But a veil, a transparency
And I looked through,
Knowing I can tear it,
Have you ever met this journalist, this commentator, reviewing every single bit of information that is passing though your brain ?
Coloring every thought the very second it has been born…
Talking, talking, and talking some more….
Until you have his voice and intonations so deeply buried behind your eardrums you start to believe, with the best faith in the world, that it is your own voice you hear.
But that is the sound of fear, sampled and played through the scales of our everyday lives, our everyday thoughts.
I have come to feel it is much more clever, more skillful to get familiar with this reviewer…not to scare him some more by answering back at him or cutting him off, or judging him abruptly, as he frantically chatters through everything going on in and out of ourselves.
It buzzes on and on, and pollutes silence.
Step one is: get perspective.
I have experienced I was so intertwined with this speaker, trapped by his grasping fingernails, that every attempt to move away makes him clutch some more… It needs reassuring. Confidence.
Like a kid on the top of a roof in the middle of the night must not be awakened by yelling out of fright lest he fall off.
We need to listen, quietly.
We might first have to find quietness.
We can then try to make some space.
Little by little.
So slowly we might appear motionless to a distant observer.
Still, we’re sneaking away.
We then notice that the journalist will remain what he is: a journalist. He will keep talking, buzzing, reviewing, commenting everything.
Nothing really changes.
Everything is different.
Distance has emerged.
Once we have moved far enough from this character,
His remote voice does not upset us, deceive us or excite us.
It might even totally fade out.
Franck Joseph – ©FJ March 2016
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