He froze abruptly.
Like a fly stops flying when two irritated hands suddenly clap.
His inner buzz had come to an end : he glimpsed at what pushes him to learn Chinese, music, gardening, Japanese, Hebrew, alternative medecine, linguistics, psychology, history of religions…
…What appeared to him is not so much the passion he pretends to feed as the screening power which accompanies these passions.
The time he had spent stumbling through his Chinese learning, or trying to improve his scores reading skills, were hiding it from his eyes.
the end. The inevitable decay towards the end.
Would he be able to face it and accept to let go of his opaque blinders ?
And not be draft horse any longer, a slave of others and of himself,
because he accepts it, because it suits his just fine …
Not choosing what makes his life (slave of others)
Or flood his own days with useless quests (slave of himself).