Guilt often fulfills a concealed function :
-It covers our intention not to change.
Any action, word or even thought regretted with guilt may be the implementation of a non-changing strategy. It is a street we walked a hundred thousand times, both familiar, reassuring and bitter.
Blaming the world, blaming ourselves is the price we are ready to pay for maintaining our psychological status quo.
(There is a strong connection between guilt (self-blame) and blame. The underlying principle is the same. The energy springing in a split second is sometimes called ‘blame’, sometimes ‘guilt’, depending on the relief it encounters on people’s psychological slopes.)
Contrary to all appearances and talks, this transaction is often a solution we dearly subscribe to.
It is the sanction we summon out of habit, one of the tools off our crash self-fixing box.
A debt-repayment / score-settling service. At least, a way to pretend to pay a loan we pretended to take out.
The thief, whose hand is still warm from its larceny is showing to court asking for immediate trial, hoping his good intentions will grant him an acquittal or a sentence reduction.
Through guilt, we present ourselves to our own trial.
At the counter of our psychological transactions, we buy a ticket for a license not to change.
For a cheap price (the price of usual/daily guilt), we purchase the right not to change in the future.
This tool of guilt is actually the result of a judgement aiming at ourselves.
We trip up for some reason and start blaming the world, the other, ourselves…
We roll out the towel of blame to mop up the un-accepted. From then on, psychological bargaining is set to unfold.
Can we see ourselves and other with a non-judgmental eye ?
Can we welcome ourselves and others in a compassionate space, where no judges can slam their deafening hammer at a regrettable attitude ?
The need to save face, to keep functioning as we’ve always done is what guilt and blame feed on.
Without any prior judgement none of that transactional craze is set in motion.
Our position of welcoming, patient and wide, allows all sliders to zero back in, finally creating conditions for a change.