Again, this is a old post I’m pulling out from under the pile as I am currently editing the next book…
I’ve decided to give it a second life, here, today.
Sometimes the need to punish, felt by the disgruntled parent, is more important than what is required by the initial situation.
In such cases, the parent will not actually ‘teach’ the unruly kid any lesson.
He will only react to his own urge for punishment.
This fire igniting in a millisecond must be understood as an expression of a need to assert oneself, updated in a very clumsy way.
This hunger for affirmation has only jumped on the wrong horse, disguised as what is happening.
One can feel empathy for the parent when this race kicks off….The disproportion between the actual situation and the adult’s reaction is the measure of the longing to exist, the yearning to be acknowledged, and how badly this need has been trampled on over the years.