She is one of those people who listen best when not listening directly.
Looking out the window, handling a pencil, tapping fingers…. Humming, to cushion the impact of words.
When the eyes are directly looking in the eyes of the other, the emotional charge is far too high for such to really pay attention to the words spoken.
©FJ May 2022
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Notes & Silence 
I see you tagged this « children ». Observations of a half attentive youngster?
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Ahhh tags are not supposed to be visible…Something must have gone wrong in the technical room.
I’m placing my best men on this right now.
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seriously…yes this is a reference to what may children do when being talked to…
a reference to what I, a- generally-acknowledged-as-adult being, do.
Observed from the outside it gives an impression of disinterest which is unfair, for in reality these people resort to this behavioral trick to ensure an optimized reception of the message.
Frontal listening postures are too loaded with emotional content to make sure the message gets through.
The official, message, the linguistic one, the one we are supposed to ‘get’ so as to function in a social group.
The real message is often different, deeper, ‘truer’.
Those kids are always sketching, scribbling, humming, looking out by the window, staring in the horizon.
This is what I do.
People often think I do not care the least
when in reality I care too much.
(I’m not excluding the playful possibility that this has been an ex post construction in order to justify an inability to understand what I’m told.)
Tongue in cheek emoticon.
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We come from different worlds.
In mine (I speak professionally) the emphasis is on facts, lack of emotion, seeking exactness in a precise use and understanding of language.
Sometimes it is difficult to turn that off outside of that sphere. That has got me into trouble, of sorts, at times. However, the reality is that, if I appear not to be listening, probably I am not, in fact, listening.
The behaviour you describe would usually indicate I am listening rather to the wind, or the waves, or the ripples in my own mind. Sometimes because they seem to make more sense than the people talking to me…!
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‘listening aside’ is also a sense-sharpener when surrounded by meaningless discourses.
A bit like drawing water from an external source we connect to, and bringing it to help humidify the dry soil of everyday decorum.
Secret Pipe.
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Interesting image…
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