There is sometimes such and such an area in our lives that we claim to dislike, or no longer support.
Such an activity or relationship that ‘weighs on us’.
It may be that this attachment to words and categorization that we associate to this reality is in fact a mechanism of protection.
That is to say that behind this weight, this displayed desire not to settle in this activity / relationship, hides in fact something / someone who is of great importance to us.
This importance is precisely the aspect that we are not ready to consider, for different reasons :
– This importance does not fit with the image we have of ourselves or our aspirations.
– This importance is such that we cannot assume it without revealing the emotional charge with which we are silently struggling.
This is why there is such a dissonance between the reality of our activities /relationships and our stated claims.
This means that if I do not leave this professional activity, it is quite simply because in reality, I do not wish to leave it.
If detachment (emotional, identification with…) was assumed, I would leave this situation, quit it straight away.
In the context of a job or a relationship, it may be a secondary attachment.
The primary attachment is related to the activity, or the person.
Secondary attachment concerns the consequences of the activity / relationship (financial and social status, emotional serenity, psychological representation, etc.)
These considerations, although called here “secondary” can nevertheless occupy the first row of what binds us to this or that situation / person.
Recognizing the attachment and above all, questioning the declared intention to put an end to it, can participate in the resolution of the dissonance one way (much franker positioning with regard to the activity, the relationship => no longer pretending to want to escape) or another (becoming aware of the underlying attachment and, if necessary, freeing oneself from it).