Life’s Crossroads (John, to himself)

This is a totally useless read. Don’t bother scrolling down any further. It is officially unrelated to anything which makes the building blocks of this interface.
I just needed a place to store it…and the text landed on the blog as a draft.
For some reason, it ends up as ‘published’.
For some reason…

As he was jogging, John suddenly stopped to a halt and enjoyed the wave of harmony running through his body.
He was experiencing one of these moments when reality, for some reason, has ripped off all its veils and filters on one of life’s topics.
He flicked through his phone and ran the voice recorder app to take oral notes on his enlightened outlook:

« It all seemed so obvious that this was where I belonged…in the practical field. »

Once the feeding joy from this initial feeling had renewed him there was this question strating to rise. Stupid, simple, so concrete:
-What didn’t you make it true before ? Why didn’t you accept it as the truth that is ?

He said to himself :  « I have everything : the aura, the training and diploma, a practice on its way, with people asking me to continue…but I stopped everything as a survival reflex.
What didn’t I keep at it ? »

And then he knew.
« Because I didn’t have the stabilised stamina, the required, unflickering energy …
Because of this thing, going on in the background, taking all of my psychological availability. »
And it got obvious :
Simply, this thing had to be uprooted.
« I have to disengage from this activity sucking up all of my life force and engage in this newly-perceived field of mine, which is a passion, a skill, a faith, a deep knowledge.

More than that….It was a good thing. I can’t help but let it echo in me as a reflection of the buddha’s teaching on the right livelihood.
Even more than knowing it’s good : knowing it is not bad.
Primum non nocere: the first principle of Hippocrates : Before everything, don’t harm anyone.
I cannot say that my professional activity is « non nocere »… I’m not saying I am harming other people, but I do know I am harming myself.
This does not mean letting go of everything in a wild way, a teenage-like manner.
Disengaging is about the energy ; not getting involved that much. Let it become what it really is : something in the background. »


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