Many couples work just like an out-of-tune accordion.
They breathe in this double-keyboard instrument the rancid air of compensation
And breathe out the wind of domination.
Inhaling : You made me suffer through belittling, humiliating, denigrating,
By shying away from our relation. I know you feel guilty for all that.
Exhaling : From now on, I get the upper hand over you and take advantage of the situation, you become accountable for everything you took me through…From now on, it my turn to make you suffer.
And the other, breathes in…
and so on…it never ends.
Of course, in this two-step tune, the notions of guilt, distancing, humiliating and suffering can be felt or be expressed along a diverse and shaded tessitura.
If one or the other stops suffering, this deadly breathing process ceases instantly.
For many, too often, the cessation of suffering equates to a termination of the relation itself.
This is damaging, for, as long as the mechanism is not identified, perceived for what it is, the instrument may therefore sound differently, but will still send the same rancid air deep inside the hearts.
Putting an end to suffering, is showing the way to the other.
It is the path of a whole life.
The wisdom towards which existence is oriented.
Observing suffering from the very bottom of oppression
on others and ourselves,
Seeing its talons unclench
That is the meaning of life.
©FJ August 2021 – All Rights Reserved
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